I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
