She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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