pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
