haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
whose parrot is this?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
