I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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