I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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