i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
