This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
