He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
