Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize