you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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