walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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