I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize