Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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