it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
