you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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