She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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