Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
