I got chris browned last night
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
