i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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