My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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