Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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