laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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