im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
