u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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