let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
