I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize