Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
