ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
