I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
