Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
