whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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