she was so not down for the gang bang
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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