I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
