ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
