My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
