lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It was confusing and full of hummus
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
