if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
