Christians are straight up FREAKS
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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