I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
