he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize