somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
