We're facebook friends in real life
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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