was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
