Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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