There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize