How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
