you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
