I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
