I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
