I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
is wine microwaveable?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
