the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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