quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
