is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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