There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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