I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
