i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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