ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
