dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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