You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
