wanna go halves on a baby?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's shark week go big or go home
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
